在外国的这八个月，让我想清楚了很多事情。让优柔寡断的我再次鼓起勇气，面对将来，面对未来。在这里要谢谢christopher, 我的同事。他那句always true to yourself, you've got nothing to lose 点醒了我。虽然这是他随口的一句话，可对我却意义非凡。也因为他这句话，曾经糊糊涂涂的我不再糊涂。
2009 的蔡崇彦：
-- 瘦身成功，找回失去已久的自信
--认清出自己的前途与方向
--成熟了，不再扭扭捏捏，不再三心两意
--爱上shopping
--确定了自己的性向，不再犹疑
--依然期待爱情，依然注重友情
--努力学习如何与自己相处
不再糊涂的我在2009 年的第一个post
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, October 27, 2008
我
Thursday, October 23, 2008
草莓奖得主之逃工日记
很不幸的，一直以为演技很棒的我，竟然会败在这个韩国supervisor 身上，insun yu......
话说有一天早上，外面下着毛毛细雨，懒惰的我带着沉重的心情起身，刷牙，洗脸，脑里在盘算着要不要去上班，要怎样自编自导自演。。。。。上回头疼，这次又哪里不舒服呢？带着犹疑的心情，我决定由上天决定， 拿了以每两块的硬币（加币两块是coin), 结果上天决定我不用去！其实也是自欺欺人，因为我一定会扔到我要的那一面为止。哈哈！ 接着讯速的打开电脑，发个email 如下：
hey alberto,
I am sorry to tell you that I am quite sick today so I think I can't make it to the lab today. Hope I can turn up tommorow if everything's fine. I am going to see a doctor later on and hopefully I will be fine soon. I hate flu!!
Cheers,
Chong
连续发了两封，一封给我的gay supervisor, alberto, 一封给我的韩国supervisor, insun yu .
接着我就继续躲进被窝里，睡到11点多，睡到饿醒，真是幸福哦。哈哈。 那天一连看了三部电影：traffic, syriana, 雷洛。一天的假日就这样过去了。。。
第二天也不得不收拾心情去上班了。。。 先整理好心情，一直想像自己生病似的（以为自己演技很好）。结果去到lab, 见到那个gay佬，就随便大个招呼，对白也是我意料的：
gay Lao: hey, chong, how r u doing?still feeling good?
Cy: oh, feeling a lot better now, i was so sick yesterday.. having some flu..
gay lao: oh i see, take care o.
接着另外一个同事又来，他是英国人，
chris: hey chong, how is it going? r u feeling ok now?
CY: yeah, i m doing good here.
chris: you should go home if you r still not feeling well
CY(心想：yeah, i still very sick, i think i need to go!!!): oh no, i m feeling a lot better now. thanks for asking.
过了两关，以为可以瞒天过海，睡不止。。。。。
insun: hey chong, how izit going? u sick yest? r u ok now?
CY: ermm, yeah, better, got some mild fever yesterday, feeling bad...
insun: orh. i see, u sure u sick?u din fake it?
CY(shock!!!!!!!! n laugh): errmm......
insun: it is ok if you fake it.....
CY: reali?
insun: yeah, i dun mind, （在旁淫笑,在想：死仔。你逃不过我那对法眼~~~~~）
CY: reali, reali, hahahahahhahaha..... 不知道可以说什么，借故走开了。。。。。
太丢脸了，我周详的计划竟然个这个韩国女人破坏了，把那个烂影帝奖办给我啦，真地想找个洞钻进去。。。。。演技有待进步。。。。。。
话说有一天早上，外面下着毛毛细雨，懒惰的我带着沉重的心情起身，刷牙，洗脸，脑里在盘算着要不要去上班，要怎样自编自导自演。。。。。上回头疼，这次又哪里不舒服呢？带着犹疑的心情，我决定由上天决定， 拿了以每两块的硬币（加币两块是coin), 结果上天决定我不用去！其实也是自欺欺人，因为我一定会扔到我要的那一面为止。哈哈！ 接着讯速的打开电脑，发个email 如下：
hey alberto,
I am sorry to tell you that I am quite sick today so I think I can't make it to the lab today. Hope I can turn up tommorow if everything's fine. I am going to see a doctor later on and hopefully I will be fine soon. I hate flu!!
Cheers,
Chong
连续发了两封，一封给我的gay supervisor, alberto, 一封给我的韩国supervisor, insun yu .
接着我就继续躲进被窝里，睡到11点多，睡到饿醒，真是幸福哦。哈哈。 那天一连看了三部电影：traffic, syriana, 雷洛。一天的假日就这样过去了。。。
第二天也不得不收拾心情去上班了。。。 先整理好心情，一直想像自己生病似的（以为自己演技很好）。结果去到lab, 见到那个gay佬，就随便大个招呼，对白也是我意料的：
gay Lao: hey, chong, how r u doing?still feeling good?
Cy: oh, feeling a lot better now, i was so sick yesterday.. having some flu..
gay lao: oh i see, take care o.
接着另外一个同事又来，他是英国人，
chris: hey chong, how is it going? r u feeling ok now?
CY: yeah, i m doing good here.
chris: you should go home if you r still not feeling well
CY(心想：yeah, i still very sick, i think i need to go!!!): oh no, i m feeling a lot better now. thanks for asking.
过了两关，以为可以瞒天过海，睡不止。。。。。
insun: hey chong, how izit going? u sick yest? r u ok now?
CY: ermm, yeah, better, got some mild fever yesterday, feeling bad...
insun: orh. i see, u sure u sick?u din fake it?
CY(shock!!!!!!!! n laugh): errmm......
insun: it is ok if you fake it.....
CY: reali?
insun: yeah, i dun mind, （在旁淫笑,在想：死仔。你逃不过我那对法眼~~~~~）
CY: reali, reali, hahahahahhahaha..... 不知道可以说什么，借故走开了。。。。。
太丢脸了，我周详的计划竟然个这个韩国女人破坏了，把那个烂影帝奖办给我啦，真地想找个洞钻进去。。。。。演技有待进步。。。。。。
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Uncertainties in a treasure hunt
Life is full of uncertainties.
Ever since my uni life started, uncertainties have become so involved in my life. I live my life with uncertainties, I think of uncertainties all the time, even cried because of uncertainties sometimes.
Uncertain of future, uncertain of where to stay, uncertain of what will happen next......
Recently felt that life is like a never ending treasure hunt. In this game, I always busy looking for directions for the future, looking for the real me, the real identity, the real character...... Once you got your treasure, you might be uncertain on what it is, you might think there is another treasure hiding somewhere else, another treasure which is better for you and will make you the winner of the game.I always thought that the uncertainty feeling is because of the ego for becoming a better winner, getting a better treasure will make you a beter winner than anyone else, will make people envy of you.
Of course, I am not the only one in this game, always competing with other comrades to get a better treasure, we might be getting the same treasure but yet we might used it in a different way. Or should I say each treasure has its own meaning for different personnel? I am uncertain. What I have 100% uncertain is this game is a competition, whoever get the treasure first, whoever wins. Is winning this game significant? What does it mean to win the game?Does that mean that you will have a better life?Does that mean that you will more prestige?After getting the treasure, each competitors will start to compare what treasure each of them has, who has a better treasure, which is more precious, etc. Is it worth comparing?Each of us play the game in our own way, each of us have our own style of playing!
What about those who still busy searching the treasure and haven't found anything yet?Or getting lose in the middle of the game? Are they consider loser?Are they pathetic? Is it because they are uncertain of their instinct? Is it because they are weak?
Living in a treasure hunt is indeed miserable. Living in a life full of uncertainties is indeed unbearable.
Let it be......
Ever since my uni life started, uncertainties have become so involved in my life. I live my life with uncertainties, I think of uncertainties all the time, even cried because of uncertainties sometimes.
Uncertain of future, uncertain of where to stay, uncertain of what will happen next......
Recently felt that life is like a never ending treasure hunt. In this game, I always busy looking for directions for the future, looking for the real me, the real identity, the real character...... Once you got your treasure, you might be uncertain on what it is, you might think there is another treasure hiding somewhere else, another treasure which is better for you and will make you the winner of the game.I always thought that the uncertainty feeling is because of the ego for becoming a better winner, getting a better treasure will make you a beter winner than anyone else, will make people envy of you.
Of course, I am not the only one in this game, always competing with other comrades to get a better treasure, we might be getting the same treasure but yet we might used it in a different way. Or should I say each treasure has its own meaning for different personnel? I am uncertain. What I have 100% uncertain is this game is a competition, whoever get the treasure first, whoever wins. Is winning this game significant? What does it mean to win the game?Does that mean that you will have a better life?Does that mean that you will more prestige?After getting the treasure, each competitors will start to compare what treasure each of them has, who has a better treasure, which is more precious, etc. Is it worth comparing?Each of us play the game in our own way, each of us have our own style of playing!
What about those who still busy searching the treasure and haven't found anything yet?Or getting lose in the middle of the game? Are they consider loser?Are they pathetic? Is it because they are uncertain of their instinct? Is it because they are weak?
Living in a treasure hunt is indeed miserable. Living in a life full of uncertainties is indeed unbearable.
Let it be......
我的悠长假期
凌晨1点26分，温哥华的凌晨在一场大雨后显得特别宁静，听着学友的李香兰，开着暖气，外来的冷风仿佛在跟暖气搏斗着，一冷一热，水火不容。。。。。暖气在窗帘的帮助下，似乎打了胜战！我为暖气大气，yay!
感概我在温哥华的日子越来越短了，三个月，算短吗？
想起明年要回去新加坡，我就浑身不自在，一个只有压力的地方，一个没有文化的地方，一个以kiasu 为名的城市，一个我一点也不怀念的地方。
2008 年快要结束了，我这几个月的悠长假期就快结束了。。。。。这几个月来自由自在的日子我毕生难忘。时常埋怨自己为什么当初选择去nus, 选了一个自己不喜欢的科系。结果nus 给了我出国的机会，实现了我旅游的梦，证明了我这两年的努力使没白费的！在加拿大的这几个月，是我大学生涯里头最开心，最充实的。每天晚上放工回家，第一时间做饭，想吃什么就煮什么，嘴叼的我对自己的烹饪技术给了70分，什么姜葱啦啦，干煎鳕鱼，梅菜猪肉都一一难不倒我。煮了后便看着电视剧捞饭，真是人生一大享受之一。接着的时间就是movie time, 这几个月来看了差不多50 多部电影：the prestige, munich, 千言万语，la vie en rose, 蓝宇，ps i love you, the bucket list, the dark knight 等等。我这几个月的生活就是这么过的，当中当然还会去不同的地方旅游。 朋友说这生活是无比的堕落，不过我越堕落越快乐！
今天是weekend, 明天要去steveston 玩咯，去吃韩式烧烤！我得好好享受我剩下仅仅三个月的“悠长假期”，充分利用每一分每一秒。
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
给自己的祝福
累了，每天起身想到要面对那恐怖的lab，我就浑身不自在。。。
nmr 里面的那几个老处女，好像跟我过不去似的，每一次去都给我不同的难题。。
insun, 我懂你是为我好的，但是你每次的话都句句如刺，一支一支尖尖的针毫不犹疑的刺进我心中。每次给你训的时候眼泪就好像要跳楼似的在眼角差点渗出来。跟你工作的日子让我自信彻底崩溃，毫无尊严可言。我懂我是糊涂，但是我已经尽力了，莫非我付出不够？莫非我不够认真？突来的改变真让我受不了，每天起身好像毫无目的而活，为了一些不知所谓的reaction, 为了学会一些未必有用的技巧。
蔡崇彦，不可以在糊涂下去了，面对改变是不容易，世上哪里有简单的事情啊？已经过了糊糊涂涂，婆婆妈妈，模拟两可的生活二十多年了。。 还能这样下去吗？即使你不喜欢，也应该认认真真地做下去，这样小小的挫折，小小的风波你不能承受吗？如果世界上少了挫折那不是很乏味吗？这就是你人生的过渡期，不要埋怨，不要逃避。去面对它，去了解他，去克服它，一次不能，就两次，两次不能就做到能为止。不要让那些尖尖的刺挡住你的去路，不要让那些又老，又丑的老处女挡住你的去路，过了这些难关，一切就会更美好。。
即使lab让你痛不欲生，你也得面对它，因为你已经没有的选了，只有把工作做好，做一个负责任的人！在这两年就当作充实自己，两年后，在为自己的理想奋斗。最重要的是利用这段时间找回你失去已久的自信。。。。。。。
nmr 里面的那几个老处女，好像跟我过不去似的，每一次去都给我不同的难题。。
insun, 我懂你是为我好的，但是你每次的话都句句如刺，一支一支尖尖的针毫不犹疑的刺进我心中。每次给你训的时候眼泪就好像要跳楼似的在眼角差点渗出来。跟你工作的日子让我自信彻底崩溃，毫无尊严可言。我懂我是糊涂，但是我已经尽力了，莫非我付出不够？莫非我不够认真？突来的改变真让我受不了，每天起身好像毫无目的而活，为了一些不知所谓的reaction, 为了学会一些未必有用的技巧。
蔡崇彦，不可以在糊涂下去了，面对改变是不容易，世上哪里有简单的事情啊？已经过了糊糊涂涂，婆婆妈妈，模拟两可的生活二十多年了。。 还能这样下去吗？即使你不喜欢，也应该认认真真地做下去，这样小小的挫折，小小的风波你不能承受吗？如果世界上少了挫折那不是很乏味吗？这就是你人生的过渡期，不要埋怨，不要逃避。去面对它，去了解他，去克服它，一次不能，就两次，两次不能就做到能为止。不要让那些尖尖的刺挡住你的去路，不要让那些又老，又丑的老处女挡住你的去路，过了这些难关，一切就会更美好。。
即使lab让你痛不欲生，你也得面对它，因为你已经没有的选了，只有把工作做好，做一个负责任的人！在这两年就当作充实自己，两年后，在为自己的理想奋斗。最重要的是利用这段时间找回你失去已久的自信。。。。。。。
Sunday, July 6, 2008
告别多伦多
五月二十五号终于来临了，是时候向多伦多告别了。。。
不舍得他的繁华，
不舍得他的热闹，
更不舍Uof T 的古典美。University of Toronto 可以说是加拿大最有名的大学，也是历史最悠久的大学。所以他的建筑物都带挺古典的。
Uof T另外一个特色就是很喜欢把一些很久很久历史的建筑物跟一些超级无敌新的建筑物connect 在一起。
在universitycollege 前面拍的
很harrypotter feel 的一个教室
university college 后面的景色。
不舍得他的繁华，
不舍得他的热闹，
更不舍Uof T 的古典美。University of Toronto 可以说是加拿大最有名的大学，也是历史最悠久的大学。所以他的建筑物都带挺古典的。
Uof T另外一个特色就是很喜欢把一些很久很久历史的建筑物跟一些超级无敌新的建筑物connect 在一起。
在universitycollege 前面拍的
很harrypotter feel 的一个教室
university college 后面的景色。
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